Describing A Course
Is Your Course A Willy Nelson?

by Joe THE / DiscLife.com
April 11, 2001

I had hit a wall. Ideas for what to write about were mysteriously absent. My brain is always working in overdrive when it comes to the abstract and goofy, but I had found myself in a creative drought. And Brian Sullivan, webmaster (he just loves being called Master) of DiscLife.com was waiting impatiently for me to send him something. Well, the wait is over….you decide if it was worth it.

At my home course here in Philly, Sedgley Woods (at one time the second oldest course in the country, then we got bumped to the 3rd oldest, now I think we're somewhere around 7 or 8….does ANYBODY know when courses went in?!?), an idea was presented to me. It seems that since I'm such a celebrity now (heh heh heh), people want to come up and tell me what would make a good topic for my ramblings. I welcome the input. Of course, anything that comes my way for ideas will be warped to my mind-bent philosophies, but, are welcome. So, this past weekend, my buddy John O'Gorman (you've seen lots of his photos in DGWN…including the cover photo of the most recent issue) said to me, "Y'know Joe, I really hate it when someone tries to describe their home course to me. It's all about 'Well, the tee is here, and the first set of trees are here, and the fairway wraps around to the left, but then there's a rock, and on the left is a stick, and in the middle is a canyon. Are yah with me?' And I have to tell them, 'No, I'm not with you. I stopped listening after hole 1's ongoing description.'" After telling me this, I really had to laugh because I'm thinking, "Yeah, John, I hate that too!"

So, while this will be similar in its set-up to the "War Stories" article I did, I've done something to add a little twist. So that we (as golfers having to listen to overly long course descriptions) don't have to try to act interested when we actually aren't, I've come up with what I believe will be an adequate system to describe a course. With a little luck, this system will be used so much, it will soon become part of the disc golf vernacular. What I've done is assigned a term to describe the different course layouts. All you as the reader or boreyteller….er…storyteller…has to do is become familiar with the description that goes with the name. Sound confusing? Then read on….

• 7-11 - This is for a course that is always open, on flat terrain. (Get it? 7-11? Always open??)
• Wooly, or Willy - This is for a course that is both wooded and hilly.
• Mammoth - A really really really long open course that requires the disc golfer to have a mammoth (big) arm if he/she expects to shoot at or below par.
• Nelson - I'd be remiss if I didn't sneak a "Simpsons" reference into this article. A 'Nelson' would be a course that beats everybody up and is tough.
• Pot Luck - This would describe a course that has a little of everything: hills, rocks, trees, water, long holes, short holes. I like this term mostly for the word Po…..er, I mean 'Luck'. (Example of Pot Luck course would be the beautiful Etobicoke DGC in Ontario.)

Now, of course, you can easily combine these course descriptions to describe combination courses. For instance, if you have a wooded and hilly course that is also really really long, you could tell someone it's a "Wooly Mammoth" course. Or, if it's wooded and hilly, and also beats everybody up, you could tell people it's a "Willy Nelson" course. See? Isn't this fun? Okay okay, so a "Nelson Pot Luck" doesn't go so well together, nor does the "Mammoth Nelson" (which sounds more like a WWF Wrestling hold), but I'm pretty sure you understand.

I haven't covered all of the course layout possibilities. But with such a fan base, I expect many of you will be sending in your ideas of other 'course descriptions'. (hint hint, nudge nudge wink wink) Any ideas I receive I'll print in a later follow-up. Once I've gotten a complete listing, maybe I'll assemble them into a back-pocket reference guide, and send it out to anyone who wants to help spread the word! Or, maybe not.

Send me your feedback or just a note to say hello! How far across the world are you as you're reading this? I have to go for now to plan for tomorrow night. ('Why Joe THE, what're gonna do tomorrow night?") The same thing I do every night…..try to TAKE over the WORLD….and come up with future article ideas.

Joe THE

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