Taking Criticism with a Smile

by Carla Engelbrecht / DiscLife.com
April, 2003

Just as a traffic jam is an overture to road rage, criticism-no matter how it's phrased or who's offering it-can try your patience and good manners. And, like me, you've probably found that there are oodles of people willing to offer you their two cents, especially when you're trying to master a sport like disc golf.

Phrased well, it's often easy to accept advice peacefully and move on. But you and your ego might have a hard time surviving a verbal lashing disguised as advice. (By the way, to read more on the difference between verbal abuse and constructive criticism, please see the other half of this discussion -- Dishing Criticism Effectively.)

So what do you do when faced with a well-meaning advice-offering fiend? (And I do mean fiend.) Here are a few points to help you survive the good and the ugly criticism gracefully.

1. Just listen. Don't argue or defend yourself or your actions.
   This is especially true if the person is rather caveman in his or her ways of sharing the advice. Just listen. Nod, bite your tongue, even sing a song in your head if it means you'll keep your mouth shut. Don't get angry, but know that he or she means it with the best of intentions.
2. Ask questions if you don't understand (that is, assuming you want to understand).
   Find yourself the victim of a rambling criticizer? Then the quickest way out is to listen, nod, and say thank you. However, if you think there's a valuable point hidden in this person's manifesto, then ask a few pointed questions to draw out the point.
3. Fight the urge to counter with your own thoughts on what you think that person is doing wrong.
   Remember, it's advice, not a challenge for a duel.
4. Say thanks, no matter how you feel.
   It's meant with good intentions. Don't be rude. (And if you're really that insulted, you can always whine about it later to an impartial third party.)
5. Seriously consider the advice that was given to you.
   You don't have to take every piece of advice offered to you and apply it to your game. But whether you're a pro or just picking up your first disc, you can learn from other players on the field. Regardless of whether you call it advice, tips, hints, suggestions, ideas, thoughts, or observations, it's something for you to think about and apply as you see fit. The least you can do is give the idea a little bit of thought and maybe try it out on the course. You never know if you'll be pleasantly surprised.